DEAR FATHER | Must we commit ourselves to prayer for loved ones who have died?

Thank you for asking this difficult question. It's a question that I believe is on the heart of many after a funeral. Unfortunately, it isn't brought up very often. After all, we don't want to say or think anything negative about our loved one, nor do we want to doubt the power of God's merciful love for anyone. This question remains something nagging our mind that we rarely address.

Bring this concern now forward in your mind. As you first confront it, how do you feel about it? While not as comforting as the thought of them being in heaven, it shouldn't be overly dispiriting either. They have seen the Lord and have been assured that one day soon they will join Him forever in heaven. This thought should bring comfort and peace, but also challenge and call us to action.

The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to pray for them. Our prayers for them will shorten and speed their journey through purgatory. Also, while they can't pray for themselves, souls in purgatory can pray for others, including their family and friends who are interceding on their behalf. Such a practice truly professes that love endures beyond the grave.

A great form of prayer to offer for the deceased is to have a Mass offered for his or her soul.

Remembering the soul of someone through the Mass is something the Church realized from her beginning was a good and worthy practice and has consistently held to this devotion. Since the Mass is also the most perfect and powerful prayer we have, this prayer can greatly help our loved one in purgatory.

There are also daily prayers to remember those who have died. These may be more formal prayers, such as the Rosary, Stations of the Cross, or a novena for our loved one. They may also be more personal prayers, such as offering one's reception of Holy Communion, or a prayer from our heart. However we feel more comfortable in praying, know that these prayers are a great help for one who has died.

But when do we stop praying for them? How will we know when they have entered heaven? Will our prayers be "wasted" if we keep praying for them?

Certainly not! God hears all of our prayers, even for those who have entered into heavenly glory. God may take our continued prayers for them to help another in our family who needs it or another soul altogether. Another view on this topic, according to St. Thomas Aquinas, is that our loved ones may grow in what is called accidental glory. Such glory will bring a soul closer to God and to the saints in glory. What a great gift to give to them a closer place to God.

Original Source for this is The St. Louis Review

Father Mayo is pastor of Holy Rosary Parish in Warrenton.

Terri Thomas

Catholic Events and Event Planning

I am a daughter of the Most High God and of His Catholic Church. I introduce myself that way because I am so grateful for that! I have been married to Dan for 34 years and we have three young adult children - Brett, Nicole & Eryn. I earned a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Theology from Catholic Distance University and a certificate as a Catholic Spiritual Mentor from the Catholic Spiritual Mentorship Program. I was employed as the Adult Faith Formation Coordinator at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Peachtree City, Georgia since December of 2008. I retired this past December (2022) to start a Catholic Event Planning Ministry. In my 14 years as the Adult Faith Coordinater I gained much experience in planning, orgainizing and successfully executing many wonderful, faith-filled Catholic events. I hope to share my experience and expertise with other parishes across the United States.

Redemptive Suffering - Living Lamps Blog

On October 15, 2015, my family and I experienced our greatest suffering up to this point in our lives. Our oldest son, Brett, died at 26 years old. It was a complete blindside for us. Learning how to navigate through this intense time of suffering and confusion has been incredibly difficult but we have discovered many "hidden treasures" along the way. God is with us and has provided for us through our union with Christ and His Church.

This website also includes a blog that was created because of my sadness over the many people that I encounter that are suffering without hope and do not know the incredible gift that God is offering them through their suffering. He is giving them an opportunity to allow Him to elevate their suffering by connecting it to the redemption of the world. For those of us who are suffering over the death of a loved one, we can be sure that they are hoping that we will do this. They are cheering us on!

The blog is full of posts about many different aspects of our Catholic Faith that are connected to suffering. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to contact me at terri.thomas.ptc@gmail.com

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