Make of Yourself a Capacity

Jesus said to St. Angela of Foligna: "Make of yourself a capacity and I will make myself a torrent!"

This page is all about learning how to make ourselves a capacity - people who can be completely filled with the love of God - so that we can effectively love others.

But let's start with first things first. In order to give love to others, we first need to receive God's personal love for us...

Sacred Scripture tells us that “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

That is important! His personal love for us is the foundation for our ability to love others, but… there is more.

The reason God wants us to love is because he is love, and he created us to be like him — to be love. The only reason we’re able to love is because God loves us first: “Love comes from God … because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8).

We were created in God’s image to do two things on Earth: Learn to love God above all things and learn to love other people with his love. Life is all about love.

Pastor Rick Warren says: But love all started with God. He loved us first, and that gives us the ability to love others (1 John 4:19). The only reason you can love God or love anybody else is because God first loved you. And he showed that love by sending Jesus Christ to Earth to bring us into a right relationship with him and so that we would have access to the grace and love we need to live in authentic love. He showed that love by creating you. He showed that love by everything you have in life - even your trials and sufferings; it’s all a gift of God’s love.

In order to love others and to become great lovers, we first need to understand and intuitively know how much God loves us. We don’t want to just talk about love, read about love, or discuss love; our need is to experience the love of God.

We need to reach a day when we finally, fully understand how God loves us completely and unconditionally. We need to become secure in the truth that we cannot make God stop loving us.

Once we’re secure inside God’s unconditional love, we are more open and willing to let that love transform us and thus we are enabled to love others even our enemies in a sacrificial way. We'll start cutting people a lot more slack. We won’t be as angry as we’ve been. We’ll be more patient. We’ll be more forgiving. We’ll be more merciful. We’ll give others grace. This is because His love is incompatible with everything opposed to love. When his perfect love fills our hearts, everything opposed to it begins to it loosen its hold on us.

Once again, you cannot give to others what you have not received yourself, so my hope is that, as you learn how much God loves you, you’ll also let him heal your heart so that his love can flow freely through you. It’s impossible to love others until you really feel loved yourself.

Think about it...When you feel “empty” and not able to give or show love to others, how do you think God wants you to “refuel”?

On this page you will learn how to refuel and if you are not empty, you will learn how to be filled with even more love.

As you read this information on this page, keep in mind that God would never call, or much less command us, to do something that we could not do. If he is calling us to something so high then he is also providing us with everything we need to do it. It is we who place obstacles in the way.

The Foundation & Goal of Love (Charity) - The High Calling of Perfect Love

God calls (and enables) us to grow in love until we reach the "perfection of charity" (Lumen Gentium, Ch. 5). We are not called to be perfect as without any flaws or weaknesses. As a matter of fact, the lifelong struggle against our flaws and weaknesses can be a source of great merit for us and a means to a deeper intimacy with God; but we are called to the perfection of love (Charity):

"All the faithful of whatever rank or status are called to the fullness of the Christian life and to the perfection of charity" (Dogmatic Constitution of the Church, Lumen Gentium, chapter 5).

But, what exactly is Charity?

This is not the same thing as natural love (i.e. the love of friendship or family or romance). Charity is the highest expression of love - Agape Love. Think of Jesus on the cross saying: “Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.” Think of St. Maria Goretti as she forgave her Alessandro as he was stabbing her. This is the kind of love that exists in heaven and that we need to be perfected in so that we can actually be happy in heaven.

Even though Charity is infused as a gift from God, our cooperation is necessary.

Have you heard the expression “Grace builds on nature”? This is important!

What that means, in this case, is that habits of acquired virtue (kindness, generosity, patience, etc.) and the ordered natural loves (of family, friend, spouse, etc.) are a great foundation for supernatural charity. These good habits make our hearts “good soil” and prepare them for charity to take root and grow.

When we learn to love sacrificially in our families, friendships and marriages, it prepares our heart for supernatural sacrificial love (charity) to grow and develop. But because supernatural charity is infused as a gift from God, we cannot initially acquire this virtue by our own actions.

Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) #1822:

"Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for his own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.”

Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J., writes in his Modern Catholic Dictionary: "Charity is the "infused supernatural virtue.” It is not acquired by mere human effort. It can be conferred only by divine grace." It is God’s very love infused into our hearts to fill them (Romans 5:5) so that we can love others with His love.

Jesus died to restore supernatural life - the life of grace, lost by Adam & Eve - to our souls. This supernatural life consists of many things, the most important of which is Charity which is infused by God into our soul at baptism as a new capacity to love but it is in seed form.  Like any other seed, this new capacity to love like Jesus is meant to grow and mature.

So, throughout our lifetime God provides everything we need for this to happen (e.g. sacraments, the love of family and friends, the good example of others, crosses that test and expand our ability to love; difficult situations that propel us to lean on him more securely; consolations, etc.) so that by the time we suffer bodily death we have learned how to love perfectly – like he did. We have fully become alter Christus’ – other Christ’s. This is nothing other than the full flowering of the grace of Baptism. Everything that happens to us in this life is meant to help us grow in Charity - Agape love.

Once the seed of supernatural charity has been placed in our soul in Baptism, mental prayer (Christian Meditation) and the other sacraments nurture its growth; fertilize it so to speak; help greatly to increase its radiation in our lives.

But, we have to do our part too - we are truly secondary causes - and with the help of God’s grace we can.

Supernatural Charity is set in motion, with the help of the Holy Spirit, through acts of the will – acts of Faith, Hope & Charity (feelings are not necessary for this) - and as we make these concrete acts of our will in spite of our feelings, God pours more of His Spirit of love (the Holy Spirit) into our hearts and we grow in charity which means that there is an increase in our love for God and for our fellow man (we grow in faith and hope too).

Examples of actions that help us to grow in Charity:

• An act of kindness for someone who is unkind to us because we want to rise above it and love God this way;

• Forgiving someone who has wronged us;

• Serving others with love in spite of our mood

• Offering up a hurtful comment as a prayer instead of reacting negatively;

• Trusting God in the midst of darkness and suffering.

Suffering & difficulties are especially effective in enlarging the capacity of our soul to receive more of God by increasing our Faith, Hope & Love (Charity). “Think about it, which takes more faith, hope and love (charity)?:

1. God giving you every worldly thing you want?
2. God withholding certain things you want?
3. God allowing suffering into your life while removing any feeling of His presence?

Which of these takes more faith, hope and love (charity)?

It is clear, by allowing suffering, difficulties, trials and dryness into our lives God is giving us the opportunity to exercise and grow in the theological virtues of faith, hope and love (Charity), WHICH FORM THE VERY CAPACITY TO RECEIVE MORE OF GOD'S LIFE AND LOVE INTO OUR SOUL" (Dr. Mike Scherschligt, STD).

I like to use the analogy of a Living Well as the new capacity that was given to us in Baptism. This new capacity (living well) is formed by by bricks which are Acts of Faith, Hope & Charity.

Whenever we love God with all of the love we are capable of at the time (this is different for each person) by making acts of Faith, Hope & Charity, He sends forth His Spirit anew and increases our ability to love him and other people. He increases the measure of charity in our soul. This is another way to say that we have grown in “Merit” before him.

Jesus said to St. Angelina of Foligna: “Make of yourself a capacity and I will make myself a torrent.”

“As the scripture has said, ‘Out of the believer’s heart shall flow rivers of living water’” (John 7:38).

This love is not for ourselves only. It is meant to fill us to overflowing and in this way reach others. “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you” (1 Thessalonians 3:12).

These acts of love gradually increase our capacity to love like God loves – to love with his love – to hold the living water of the Holy Spirit (God’s love) in our our hearts so that it flows out of us and reaches others more fruitfully & effectively.

Think of the size of the Grand Canyon today as an analogy for this. It is currently so big and beautiful but I am sure it didn’t start out that way. It had to grow gradually…

If God can increase the capacity of this little tiny stream imagine how He can transform our hearts.

God’s grace is like a river flowing that will cut through the hardness of one’s heart to increase the capacity and to reveal its beauty and splendor!'

The Degrees of Glory that we will enjoy in heaven will be different for everyone and it will depend on the size of our well, the largeness of our heart and capacity to be filled with God’s love.

St. Faustina wrote in her diary about this (#605):

“O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I thank you for allowing me to know the greatness and the various degrees of glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great difference of depth in the knowledge and love of God there is between one degree and another! Oh, if people could only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able to attain one more degree, I would gladly suffer all the torments of the martyrs put together. Truly, all those torments seem as nothing to me compared with the glory that is awaiting us for all eternity.”

If we don’t know this our growth in charity could look more like the image below and we could be at the mercy of our moods.

And then there is the clutter in our hearts that blocks the flow of God's love from filling them; such things as unforgiveness, negative thinking, critical spirit, looking down our nose at others, etc. This clutter takes up precious space in our hearts and prevents the inflowing of the Holy Spirit.

What are some example of clutter in our hearts?

Selfishness, unforgiveness, disordered attachments to pleasure, gossip, etc.

Here on earth our selfishness is purified primarily by our efforts to know, love, and follow Christ more and more each day, through prayer and study, reception of the sacraments in the state of grace, obedience, abandonment and trust to God’s will, fidelity to state of life, acts of kindness, service, etc.

All of these actions make the grace Christ won for us on the cross, abundantly available to us – they are channels of his grace.

They are some of the ways that God applies the grace Christ won for us on the cross, to our souls to heal and transform them.

The self-centered tendencies of our fallen human nature make it hard to do these things, at times—it’s hard to be patient, to forgive, to resist temptation, to persevere in doing what’s right but it is possible because of grace.

Without the grace Christ won, we couldn’t do enough on our own to reach the holiness necessary to enter heaven,

Fortunately we have his grace available to us! But we can’t just stand still and say “I believe…” and do nothing… Our cooperation (in the picture below is shown as taking steps..) is necessary.

Our union with Jesus in our personal prayer time and in the sacraments, especially the Most Holy Eucharist, is necessary for this as "The Teeter Totter" explanation below conveys:

THE TEETER TOTTER (see graphic below)

We are all born with the effects of Original Sin in our souls which leave their mark by a proclivity to sin. We can see that most clearly in our disordered desires. Some examples would be: desiring junk food, over-eating, over-sleeping, over-drinking, spending too much money on frivolous things, gossip, base humor, feelings of superiority, judging other people, need for attention and admiration, lust, etc. All of this is further compounded by our personal sins which lead to sinful habits.

As we cooperate with the grace we receive from the Mass and the sacraments - especially in the Sacrament of Reconciliation & in receiving the Sacred Heart of Jesus in Holy Communion (on a regular basis, in the state of grace (see two videos below about the state of grace) and with an open heart) our disordered, worldly desires slowly but surely - gradually - change into God’s desires. Eventually, we don’t like sin any more and we desire holiness and goodness.

Eventually, our good desires become stronger than our disordered desires and it is our good desires that draw God’s grace into our souls more fully.

But...even the graces from Holy Mass and the sacraments can’t be enacted without the regular (daily) practice of mental prayer. Mental prayer - Christian Meditation - prepares our hearts for a fruitful reception of Holy Communion and it allows the grace we receive in Holy Communion to work more efficiently - to change our desires. It actualizes the grace we have received. It stirs it up so to speak. (see methods of mental prayer below or here)

How does this happen? Spending time with God in prayer allows Him to work on our hearts & desires directly - in ways that are not detectable to our senses - but it also allows Him to work on our hearts and desires in ways that are detectable by showing us our disordered desires so that we can work on them together. In prayer God inspires us to make resolutions to practice the virtues that will change our hearts and our desires. As we go about our day, his grace helps us to complete the resolutions we have made and when we fail, it helps us to get back up and try again without giving into discouragement.

One thing we should keep in mind, however, is that we never completely lose our sinful desires while we exist on this side of death. But, we can make great strides in this battle, strides that exceed by far what the human will can accomplish on its own. We can become heroically virtuous people due to the effects of grace, especially the grace that we receive from Holy Communion combined with mental prayer. Struggling to fight a sinful, disordered desire is very pleasing to God even if for the rest of our life we have to struggle with it - fighting manfully to overcome it. This struggle can be the very means for a deeper union with God as St. Paul taught us :

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Cor. 12: 7-9).

As stated above, THIS LOVE OF GOD THAT IS POURED INTO OUR HEARTS (AND CHANGES US) IS MEANT TO FLOW OUT OF US AND REACH OTHERS. That is the nature of it.

This is why we work hard at purifying our hearts and cooperate with God in this very important work. The more we allow God to purify our hearts & do our part - the purer will be the living water that flows from it; the less it will be mixed with clutter and garbage.

More about our part

Remember, in Baptism, the seeds of Faith, Hope & Charity (love) were planted in our souls. In order for them to grow they have to be nurtured. The sacraments, especially the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Mass where we receive the Sacred Heart of Jesus in Holy Communion (the Eucharist), are the best way of nurturing these seeds. But after that and closely connected to it is our time of prayer. From the strength that we receive, we are enabled to respond to all the other opportunities that God provides to practice Faith, Hope and Charity in the course of everyday life. Opportunities

• to believe in God's love and his mysterious ways even when we don't understand;

• to follow the teachings of his Church even when they are difficult, trusting that God will be with us every step of the way;

• to hope that He is bringing a greater good out of everything that happens to us and that someday he will show us his reasons for what happened during our earthly life and we will bow our heads and thank him for all eternity;

• to hope that he will reward us for our fidelity to him in trying situations.

• to love unconditionally, sacrificially, in spite of our feelings.

These concrete acts then become the vessel (a living well) for God to fill with a greater measure of the “living water” of his Holy Spirit.

But what does it mean to make an act of Faith, Hope and/or Love? Here is a concrete example:

Act of Love - A woman is at work and is broken-hearted because some of her co-workers are gossiping about her. She begins to get very angry and is about to react with angry words. Deep down inside Charity begins to rise up and she thinks “Instead of reacting in a negative way, I can offer this suffering up as a prayer for the Holy Souls in Purgatory.” This she does right away by praying “Dear Jesus, I open this suffering up to you. Please come into it with your love and unite it with your perfect sacrifice and use it as a channel of your grace for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Thank you for giving me meaning and purpose in my suffering!” This act of Love helps the Holy Souls and opens her heart to receive the living water of the Holy Spirit in a fuller measure and her love for God & others increases.

Often, it is necessary to make the same act of Faith, Hope and/or Love over and over again as the waves of sorrow and suffering wash over us repeatedly. God receives each one of them as a precious gift and he always returns them with the blessing of a fuller measure of his presence and this increases our capacity to love.

Growing in our capacity to love is what the saints like St. Faustina below mean by "the greatness and the various degrees of glory to which souls attain."

Practical Advice

There may be a lot of clutter in our hearts and the task might seem a bit overwhelming. Just start with the plates. Let me explain...

Last week we had a closet cleaning day at work. My closet was a wreck. It was so full of junk - so much junk that I couldn't even tell you everything that was in there. Things had been accumulated over an eight year period and because we are busy, I hadn't taken the time to clean it out - so more and more items were just stuck in there.

As I walked into the closet and looked at it that morning, I felt completely overwhelmed and thought: "I can't do this!" Almost immediately a thought crossed my mind, "Just start with the plates."

With that thought I felt a sense of peace and direction and so I did just that. As I finished the plates, I was a little energized and ready to tackle the next item; and so on, and so on, and so on...all of a sudden, two hours flew by and I was halfway into the closet. It felt so good! At this point I was really energized so the heavier, more labor intensive items didn't intimidate me any longer. By the end of the day, I had finished the closet.

I know through this experience God was reminding me that there are many situations in life where it is better not to look at the whole picture all at once as if I have to tackle everything at the same time. Clutter in our hearts is one of them. Just start with something and work on that - maybe a hardness of heart towards someone or a feeling of jealousy. Spend time with the Lord in prayer (especially Eucharistic Adoration) and let him love you! Let him fill you with his love for you. His love is incompatible with hate, a critical spirit, jealousy, etc. From there he will inspire you to work on a virtue that will help you with the area you are working on. For example: Gratitude to combat jealousy; acts of love to combat hardness of heart, etc.

Every time a negative thought about yourself or another person comes up, see it as a shield - as in putting your hand out to prevent or block His love from entering your heart - and fight against it - put your hand down. Tell him you do not approve of your negative thinking and ask him to help you. That will go a long way. You keep doing your part and fighting the negative thinking and God will do the rest. Below is a wonderful audio teaching on how to be filled with God's love.

As has already been said, before we can ever love God and others in a sacrificial way, we first need to receive God's love. We have to experience God’s love for us personally first before we can truly love others. In order to do that we have to go in search of his love and we do this by spending time with God in prayer and in receiving the sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist.

Listen to the mp3 below. It is a talk by Dr. Mike Scherschligt about how to be filled with God’s love:

The Virtue of Love vs. The Passion of Love (by Dr. Mike Scherschligt, STD)

"Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI says in Deus Caritas Est that we cannot love only by offering sacrificial, self-giving love. We cannot live only by the virtue of love. We cannot always give. We must also receive.

Anyone who wishes to give love in the way that God calls us to must also receive love as a gift.

Certainly, as the Lord tells us, one can become a source from which "springs of living water flow" (John 7:38). Yet, to become such a source one must constantly drink anew from the original source which is Jesus Christ from whose pierced heart flows the love of God.

As mature adults, we regularly face and unending current of human needs. Someone always needs us for something. But, we cannot truly live and love that way - without a break - because we will run dry. We won’t be loving with effective love. So, we have to drink from the source – the heart of Jesus, opened up on the cross from which blood and water flowed forth. We drink in from his heart by prayer.

So what does that look like practically?

It just means “wasting time” with him every day. The best place to "waste time" with him is in Eucharistic Adoration if that is possible for you but praying at home is sufficient. Just being in his presence does so much for us.

For example: if you go stand in your shower and turn the water on, what will happen? You will get wet and you don’t have to do anything other than just stand there. All we have to do in prayer is put our self in front of God and just stay there. You can be distracted; you can fall asleep; you can be all over the board – but if you just remain there, he is working on you – filling you up – imperceptibly for the most part.

You may not notice it at first. More than likely, you will not feel any different while you are there - while you are spending time in prayer. You may not feel any different immediately after you finish your prayer time. But if you spend in time in prayer with God every day; if you drink from the source every day, you will begin to find that you are more content; you are more peaceful; you are more at ease and you can’t describe why. It is because he is secretly filling you up. He is filling you up from the inside so that you don't have to search for the love that only he can give in other places; so that we aren't so needy and demanding. As we "waste time" with him in prayer, our disordered attachments don't seem to have such a grip on us anymore. We are being set free.

Then…we can really love with agape love and it’s effortless because it just floods over. Then love becomes effortless. It is not another thing to do. It is not more effort. It doesn’t drain us. It just floods over.

'Apart from me, you can do nothing' (John 15:5). Apart from Christ, we can do nothing that really matters; that is truly worthwhile or eternal in value.

Jesus said to his apostles: 'Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest awhile' after they had returned from ministry work. When they returned, they shared with him all that they had done for him. Notice that he doesn’t tell them to get back out there and get busy because there is so much more to do. He instead tells them to come away and be with him to rest together.

The Fathers of the Church saw in Jacob’s ladder (Genesis 20:8) this inseparable connection between ascending (eros – the passion of love which seeks God) and descending (agape – the virtue of love which passes on the gift to others) love.

St. Gregory says: The good pastor (mother, father, etc.) must be rooted in contemplation. Only in this way, will he be able to take upon himself the needs of others and make them his own. He uses St. Paul as the example of a man who was born aloft to the great mysteries of God and then he was able to become all things to all men. Another example was Moses.

If we don’t go and drink from the source, we are incapable of living our and giving out the authentic virtue of love. This leads to bitterness and tiredness or we will love in a disordered way that is not really helpful in the long run" (Dr. Mike Scherschligt, STD).